Food Flavored Song of the Day: Caffeine on an Empty Stomach by Tattoo Money

Current Initiatives held their Christmas in July event at Hidden Springs Ale House last night. I took Z-Bot and a box of Legos, thinking it would be a good time to teach her about the importance of caring for other people. Once we were at the bar I decided I didn't want to be that lame guy that just downs water, so I looked for something non-alcoholic on tap. The only thing they had was Commune and Co.'s Nitro Brewed Coffee. Even though I had already had coffee in the morning and hadn't eaten much during the day, I ordered one anyway. I knew I was going to die. I texted as much to J-Fur. The drive home from the bar was one of the roughest I've had. I alternated between thinking I was going to puke and feeling like I was having a heart attack. When I did finally make it home, sleep was not in the cards. Weird dreams kept me up half the night, cold sweats kept me up the other half.

When I left the bed this morning my first thought was I know exactly what Tattoo Money means when he says "Caffeine on an Empty Stomach." Based on the video and the rest of the lyrics, I don't think Tattoo Money is talking about drinking too much coffee at the bar. The video depicts everyone's desire to put Tattoo Money in a box. He is an African-American that plays guitar and owns records by Avenged Sevenfold, Arctic Monkeys and Cold War Kids. The white guys in the video want to deck him out in gold chains, Jordans and have him shot baskets. The African-Americans in the video want him to choose between Elvis and Notorious B.I.G, the white girl pop star or the African-American one and take a swig of Hennessy. There is, however, a happy ending. The end of the video finds all the haters in a field where Tattoo Money starts putting on a show. To their surprise, both the white guys and African-American guys enjoy themselves.

The video:



Just the sounds:    

Food Flavored Album Review: I'm Not Alright by John Joseph Brill

My 13th favorite song last year belonged to the "brandy-warm baritone songsmith," John Joseph Brill. This year, JJ Brill has been hard at work on his brand new EP, I'm Not Alright, which was released about two weeks ago. I decided to give I'm Not Alright the Food Flavored Album treatment alongside a Chickpea Indian Bowl I whipped up the other night (except I was out of chickpeas so it became a Cannellini Indian Bowl).

JJ Brill spent his early 20s as lead man in the London based heavy rock outfit Burning Beard. In 2013 he wanted to explore a more confessional and honest form of songwriting. He left Burning Beard and went out on his own. It was here, as a solo artist, that he began writing and performing songs about heartbreak, death and friendship. "I'm Not Alright," the EP opener and the one the EP is named for, explores the former. The track was born out of a breakup that left Brill out of both money and home. The more he put into "I'm Not Alright" the more it transitioned into something more than just a breakup song. It is about people who are hurting or scared or not well having the right to just speak up and say "I'm Not Alright." The music for the track has a relaxing and comfortable 80's feel to it.

"I'm Not Alright" exists on this EP in the same space that the beans take up in the Indian Bowl. For one, the chickpeas being replaced by cannellini (can this still be an Indian bowl then?) is definitely something that traditionalists will claim is not alright. More than that, beans are a comfort food, something that can turn a mood because they remind you of something in your past that was positive. Beans are also super cheap. They are the kind of meal that you eat when you are broke and/or broken.  


"Smoke," the second track on the EP, is an atmospheric electro-pop ballad that slowly builds in passionate intensity. It seems to be about escapism and turning to vices to forget the pain of meeting someone that fulfills everything you've ever wanted and then losing them ("You were all I wanted...wrapped up in smoke").

In the Indian Bowl those vices would be symbolized by the chickpea sauce. This sauce is created by combining all kinds of powders (curry, cumin, cinnamon, ground ginger, coriander), tomatoes and coconut milk. These items, when put together just so, can deliver you from your heartbreak...at least for a little while. Then, like all vices, that feeling fades and you are back chest deep in broken-hearted suffering.



"A Place To Drown" is another ballad, although this one is steeped in piano. If "Smoke" seemed like balladry that would be found in a Future Islands discography, "A Place to Drown" is more Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. The theme of "A Place To Drown" is one that I waiver back and forth on. My first take was that JJ Brill was pouring his love out in a strangely dark way. I mean "If you need a place to drown, I'll be the water" is tragically romantic. But on repeated listen it became clear that the subject wasn't ok. He was suffering from violent outbreaks, a silent phone, a former partner's laughter and ghosts of the relationship that crumbled. So this idea of drowning, was that just another way of signifying the violence felt? Like literally, if you need to die, let me be the one that helps with that?
Whatever the case, "A Place To Drown" is haunting. It is also, in my opinion, the strongest track on the album because of its staying power.

The staying power of the Indian Bowl (and the piece that "drowns" and appears "ghostly") would have to be the coconut milk. It is also the ingredient that ties the whole recipe together.



"The Leaving Song" focuses on just that, leaving. It is about the ending and the confusion that comes along with it. The pain of hearing those words you never thought you'd hear and wondering why it had to happen ("Why'd you'd have to go and say a thing like that, such a dreadful thing as goodbye"). This song utilizes more indie rock techniques than the others. If we are considering it a ballad, which it still comes off as, it would be more of your power ballad. This song is the yin to the EP's yang. There are the backup vocals that are distant and screamed, there's also the sparks of musical elements at the end which seems like it could've come from the Postal Service.

"The Leaving Song" is like the lime in the Indian bowl. The lime is the acidic spark that ignites the dish, the yin to the coconut milk's yang (or the sour to the sweet).


John Joseph Brill's I'm Not Alright EP wraps multiple takes on ballads around painful, introspective lyrics of violent heartbreak. Most of us have been there before and can immediately relate to what Brill is dishing out. Immerse yourself. It will hurt and painfully remind but it will also perform a function that vices cannot. I'm Not Alright will help put you on the track to being alright.

Do it with an Indian Bowl of replacement beans and you'll get there twice as fast.*

*Not scientifically proven, testing is in the early stages.

Food Flavored Album Review: Recharge by the Tambo Rays

The first time I experienced Larabars was at the finish line of a half marathon. The company sent someone to hand out samples. I grabbed a handful, scarfed them down, remember liking them and then moved on. Years later, those little bars began showing up in grocery stores. Every time I thought about purchasing a box, I'd look at the price and head the other direction. Those bars, in all their plant based and gluten free glory, were definitely not cheap. To combat the drain on my wallet, I did what most adventurous kitchen types would do, I started making my own version..

Then Larabar brought out a new line of products called Larabar bites. These were essentially the bars rolled into truffle like bites. So, I started making them too. Recently I've become enamored with the double chocolate brownie bites. These bites consist of just six ingredients: dates, cocoa, dark chocolate chips, coconut flour, almonds and sea salt. In my kitchen I added a seventh, coconut shreds. To make the bites just stuff all these ingredients into a food processor and pulse until they become tiny bits. Then add a little water, pulse a few more times and voila, start rolling chocolate snowballs. While working out the logistics of this recipe, I listened to the new Tambo Rays EP, Recharge (released on July 17th via OIM Records). Both the bites and the Tambo Rays EP had a lot in common.

Recharge kicks off with the upbeat, sun soaked, pop rock of "Yes and No." According to the band it is a song about letting go of old habits, the uncertainty of wandering through new territory and confronting the difficulties that arise from leaving behind the safety net of the status quo. Hmm...sun soaked, letting go of the status quo, releasing old habits. Sounds a bit like coconut flour if you ask me. Coconut flour is born and bred from a fruit that hangs out on a tree that is found in tropical, sun soaked climates. In the bites that I created, the coconut flour took the place of traditional flour. It can be tough to let go of white flour, and it certainly is the road less traveled, but sometimes it can be so worth it. These bites were one of those times.



Recharge's second track, "Always Down" embraces the same sort of glimmering pop as "Yes and No" but the lyrics hint at something a bit more melancholy. "Always Down" was written about being there and supporting a friend who is dealing with some dark days. The necessary support is most apparent in the lines "And I'll always be there for you, situations unknown, and I'll always be there for you, to take you where you want to go to." These lines are ambiguous in the sense that they allow the darkness to remain unnamed. When a friend says they need you, it doesn't really matter what the situation is, you go. And if they need you to take them somewhere, again, the destination isn't relevant, you drive until they are satisfied. Satisfaction, underlying darkness. Not only do these words describe, "Always Down" but they could just as easily represent the chocolate chips and cocoa powder found in this recipe.



"Wrong Turn" takes the adage go big or go home and makes it reality. This isn't just a pop song. It is a sonic, tilt-a-whirl of wavy synths, moody percussion and sexy guitars. These elements provide a stylized base to prop up Sara DaMert's emotive lyrics. "Wrong Turn" is the second most evocative track on Recharge. Long after the EP fades to silence, the lines and sounds of "Wrong Turn" remain in your brain like little earworms of enthrallment. The Medjool dates used for these bites are every bit as enthralling, moody and evocative as "Wrong Turn." Medjools, because of their elevated status in the date world are often referred to as kings, diamonds or crown jewels. Not sure you can get more enthralling than that. They have a rich, sweet taste that brings to mind differing food moods like caramel, honey or cinnamon.



What ties these chocolate bites together is the almonds. The "almonds" of Recharge is the closer, "Get It Right Now." This track is the most evocative of the lot because it combines aspects of each of the previous tracks. "Get It Right Now" features some of the same sonic elements as "Wrong Turn," the upbeat, sun soaked pop of "Yes and No" and the underlying melancholy of "Always Down." Its chorus seems to say that despite the fact that you are going through or have previously gone through some tough moments, time will heal those wounds ("To fall in love it just takes time"). Same with those pesky almonds. Pulse a bit and try to roll these bites and you'll be met with the tough almond exterior. But give it some time, pulse a bit more and you'll wind up with an easily moldable nutty treat.



Recharge by the Tambo Rays and Double Chocolate Brownie Bites have a number of things in common. Ultimately what stands out is the staying power of each. This staying power is created in both of these by combining catchy immediacy with a subtle and brilliant nuance.

Food Flavored Song: Bear Claws by The Academic

Let's take a nostalgic look over our shoulder for a few moments. Look over there, I see the 1980's. Ah and the 50's, they were pretty sexy in a completely harmless way. Here we are, the 1920's. That's where we want to be. It was here, in the roaring 20's, that the sweet, yeast-raised pastry, known as the bear claw came into being. A bear claw, for those not in the know, is a pastry filled with almond paste (and sometimes raisins) that is shaped like a semicircle with slices along the curved edge. As the dough rises, it separates evoking the shape of a bear's toe. Thus the name, bear claw.

Just twelve days ago Irish indie rock band the Academic also decided to send a nostalgic glance over their should. They too saw "Bear Claws." But in their world bear claws are not pastries, they are themselves, as teenagers, trying to navigate their way through the "minefield that is youth socializing." The song is, according to the band, about all the stupid things that they did during their youth. It is about thinking only in the short term, not worrying about long term implications. It is also asking people to be honest and open rather than holding back. Something that is much easier said than done.

You want honesty? Looking nostalgically over my shoulder to my youth, I realize that I only ate a bear claw once. I didn't like it all. Thankfully the Academic version of a bear claw is so much easier to stomach.

Food Flavored Artist: Swedish Death Candy

I dozed off last night while watching American Anarchist, the documentary about author William Powell. While I was sleeping I had this crazy dream that Malcolm Mooney, Tony Iommi and Willy Wonka started a band together. At one of their practices the three got the crazy idea to take a break and cook up some recipes from Wonka's copy of The Anarchist Cookbook. They started with Powell's version of homemade napalm. When the napalm was finished, Wonka hid it in his drum kit. He took it back to his lab and turned in into a batch of Swedish fish.

At this point in the dream, I woke up. As I stumbled back to my bed I thought to myself, damn man, that dream needs some sort of soundtrack.

This morning I logged into my email and I got that soundtrack. It comes courtesy of the band Swedish Death Candy. Their new single "Oh My" is a psych-pop killer. The song starts humbly with an organ a la the Doors. Then the crunching, heavy riffs, clanging cymbals and fuzz pedals take over. At some point singer Louis begins dropping lines of the fleeting nature of love and beauty and taking a chance on something before its luster fades.

The fuzziness of "Oh My" reminds me a lot of UK fuzz band Eat Fast who had an impressive run of singles last year. I'm hoping that means that Swedish Death Candy can make the second half of 2017 their year.

Let 'er rip:
 

Food Flavored Video: Hobart by Sail On! Sail On!

We all know them. Maybe. They are the beefy guys at the party who show up with a bag of chips, do a couple of bro hugs and start raising the roof while the other party goers chant "Dip! Dip! Dip!" They are the slimy greasers who take an ice cream scoop of pureed chickpeas, slop it on some lady's breasts and proceed to dip those babies clean. They are the loud male sports fans at the bar high-fiving and plinking Sabra tubs together when their team scores a point. They are the people that suffer from hyper toxic hummasculinity.

Over the last week Sail On! Sail On!'s social media has been besieged by these hummus bros bragging and belching about how they can eat more hummus than the band. It all came about because of the band's video for their single "Hobart." Skinny, one of the members of Sail On! Sail On! asked some friends to bring a plate of vegan food over to his house. 90 percent of them brought hummus. So Skinny and Ethan (another band member) decided that during the 2:50 song they would attempt to eat 1kg of hummus while also taking turns singing the lines of the song. The band completed the video in one take, no way they would be able to eat that much hummus again, and uploaded it to Youtube. Then the hummus pissing contest began. Vitriol like "DZ and Dunies were at least impressive. This just nasty and music doesnt suit :/" and "mate, you can't even finish a 1KG tub of hummus between the two of you" was sent their way. The band calmly suggested that if people wanted to try the challenge themselves they could film it and send it to the band. If anyone could successfully sing the lines in the song while finishing a 1kg tub of hummus in 2:50, Sail On! Sail On! would send them a free record. Just by attempting the challenge a person could earn a free download of the album.

Watch Sail On! Sail On!'s hummus challenge:



Hummus Free Version:

Food Flavored Video: Barf Day by Diet Cig

Ever wondered what a birthday party featuring members of Diet Cig, Daddy Issues, Pardoner and Plush would include? Well wonder no more. Diet Cig gives you a little taste, excuse me, a giant vomit dripping taste in their video for "Barf Day."

The birthday starts dull enough. There is some burgers being flipped by a grill master who definitely has better places to be. Then the crew joins each other in a kum ba yah half circle around a juggling clown (who also acts like he has better places to be. Come on man, look alive. Do you know who you are performing for? That's Diet Cig, dude. That person there? Daddy Issues. Yep, Pardoner and Plush as well). The clown is so dull that one of the party goers, I believe it is Alex from Diet Cig, resorts to digging in dirt.

At this point, the ballon circled cake comes out and everyone pledges allegiance sends happy thoughts to the birthday girl. Here's where things go a bit awry. Instead of slicing the cake and sharing it, Alex smashes it on the table and runs from the party singing "I just want to have ice cream on my birthday." As she leaves the party, of course, she finds an abandoned ice cream truck (ok, there is a driver in front but seriously, he doesn't put up much of a fight at all). She climbs in through the window and starts doling out cold sweet treats to the party goers who have followed her. Then, Diet Cig steals the truck and proceeds to turn it into a moving concert vehicle. This signifies the end of an absolutely perfect "Barf Day."

See it all yourself:



Just the sounds:


Diet Cig Upcoming Tour Dates
June 08 - Columbia, MO @ Rose Music Hall #
June 09 - Indianapolis, IN @ Musical Family Tree #
June 10 - Columbus, OH @ Rumba Cafe #
July 23 - Seattle, WA @ Capitol Hill Block Party
Sep 07 - Hamden, CT @ The Ballroom at The Outer Space *
Sep 08 - New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom #
Sep 09 - Providence, RI @ Columbus Theatre *
Sep 10 - Portland, ME @ SPACE
Sep 11 - Northampton, MA @ Iron Horse Music Hall *
Sep 12 - Ithaca, NY @ The Haunt *
Sep 13 - Pittsburgh, PA @ The Funhouse at Mr Smalls *
Sep 14 - Gambier, OH @ Horn Gallery - Kenyon College
Sep 16 - Lancaster, PA @ Lizard Lounge *
Sep 17 - Baltimore, MD @ Metro Gallery *
Sep 23 - Tourcoing, FR @ Le Grand Mix
Sep 25 - Paris, FR @ Supersonic
Sep 26 - Antwerp, BE @ Trix VZW
Sep 28 - Lausanne, CH @ Le Romandie Rock Clubl
Sep 30 - Osimo, IT @ Loop
Oct 02 - Vienna, AT @ B72
Oct 04 - Munich, DE @ Orange House
Oct 05 - Berlin, DE @ Berghain Kantine
Oct 06 - Denmark, CP @ Stengade
Oct 07 - Hamburg-St. Pauli, DE @ Molotow
Oct 09 - Köln, DE @ Blue Shell
Oct 10 - Münster, DE @ Gleis 22
Oct 12 - Norwich, UK @ Norwich Arts Centre
Oct 13 - Nottingham, UK @ Rough Trade Nottingham
Oct 14 - Lancashire, UK @ Lancaster Library
Oct 16 - Manchester, UK @ Soup Kitchen
Oct 17 - Edinburgh, UK @ Sneaky Pete's
Oct 18 - Glasgow, UK @ Broadcast
Oct 19 - Leeds, UK @ Headrow House
Oct 21 - Bristol, UK @ Simple Things Festival
Oct 23 - Cambridge, UK @ Portland Arms
Oct 25 - London, UK @ Moth Club
Oct 26 - Brighton, UK @ The Hope & Ruin

# = with SPORTS
* = with Ratboys

Food Flavored Song of the Day: Coca Cola by Animal House

Special K and I were out stroller walking this morning when we noticed a Pepsi truck up ahead. There was a man in the process of emptying said truck. He stopped and eyed us suspiciously. I gave him the universal symbol for "don't worry, I'm not here to steal your emoji covered soda because I'm much more interested in the brand with the bottle that can act as a detachable festival bracelet." He still seemed a bit dubious. So, to better ease his mind, I pulled out my phone and loaded up "Coca Cola" from Animal House. I let the chorus rip:

"With Coca Cola we know how to party, with Coca Cola we know how to sing."

This seemed to do the trick. The truck worker nodded and returned to unloading while Special K and I continued on our emoji free way.

"Coca Cola" by Animal House is cheeky as a baby, raucous as an inebriated seaman and catchy as the flu. It, along with the rest of Animal House's catalog, seems to exist to show/remind people that it is ok to get off your ass and dance wildly to guitar music. The band is gearing up for the release of their new EP Hot Bodies. The EP, which features "Coca Cola", is a cohesive and well-thought-out barrel of guitars, shakers and raspy, sexy vocals. It is also marvelously stupid and perfectly satisfying on a hot day.

Food Flavored Song: Scrambled Egg by Eat Fast

Fun Fact: Back in 1992, while Ed Boon and John Tobias of Midway Games were dreaming up Mortal Kombat, a small town boy in East Bloserville, Pennsylvania was also doing some video game dreaming. He had devised what he thought was a brilliant game idea. The game featured two Turritopsis dohrnii (aka immortal jellyfish) squaring off in battle. The winner continued on to face other Turritopsis dohrnii, the loser was scrambled like eggs and placed on the plate of one of the jellyfish's natural predators. Dubbed Immortal Kombat, the game was pitched over forty times to different gaming companies. Not a single one was interested. 

With the release of their upcoming EP, also called Immortal Kombat, Eat Fast has become a footnote in this little known story. Ironically enough, the band's first single from Immortal Kombat, is the razor like "Scrambled Egg." The track continues to travel along in the footsteps of prior Eat Fast tracks (Sand Drone, Byker Drone, Public Display of Affection, Fenham Dreadlock and Stammer) in that the lyrics are sharp, the guitars are scuzzy and the wall of noise is simultaneously engaging and scary as hell. It is here, in that wall of sound, that "Scrambled Egg" diverges from Eat Fast tracks of the past. Unlike those singles that have come before, "Scrambled Egg" seems perfectly willing to show a side of Eat Fast that is sensitive and, gasp, poppy. It doesn't hang around too long. It's the type of poppy sensitivity that could be missed if you were to concentrate too long on blowing a bubble with that huge ass piece of gum in your mouth, but it is there.

"Scrambled Egg" offers a nice little gateway into the world of Immortal Kombat. The album finds Eat Fast in their "leanest and most succinct form" yet. The six tracks on the EP are bound together with squirmy guitars, thunderous drumming, and taut vocals that document the "limitations of self-love; the pathology of loneliness in the modern world and the intrinsic need" to connect with others. Immortal Kombat also deals with death, mortality and approaching love under the guise of both.

You can catch Eat Fast's new EP on Cannibal Hymns, after its release on May 19th.

Food Flavored Video: Patriarchy Tripping in the Food Desert According to Diet Cig and Dreamers

Before getting into the post, I have a quick disclaimer:

While I normally reserve food flavored video posts to one new video that features some kind of food encounter in it, I decided that this post required a two pack. For reasons that will soon become obvious, I saw some similarities in the settings of Diet Cig's video for "Tummy Ache" and Dreamers video for "Sweet Disaster." My editor wasn't too happy (think about the blog hits, man!) but it just made too much sense.

Diet Cig has had enough of all this girly sleepover trash that seems to rule the world of literature, movies and television. Just because a group of females decide to spend the night together, doesn't mean that they have to just talk boys, do each others nails, freeze bras and have pillow fights. The band's new video for "Tummy Ache" splices scenes of a day-in-the-life of them as touring musicians with the story of some girls having a sleepover. The girls, played by members of the Willie Mae Rock Camp in NYC and Girls Rock Philly, subvert the girly sleepover idea by turning it into a zine making, convenience store food eating, patriarchy smashing craft fest. Diet Cig wanted to show that there is "power in friendship and while it may be hard to be a punk while wearing a skirt," the band is loud, powerful and always ready to show up.

"Tummy Ache" is featured on Diet Cig's upcoming debut album, Swear I'm Good At This, coming out on April 7th via Frenchkiss Records. The band will be touring the world in support of the album and in support of the next generation of young female rock musicians. They will share the stage at a handful of shows with Girl's Rock Camp affiliated camp bands and other young musicians (at the shows in DC, Richmond, Carborro and Atlanta).

Just the noise:

Just like with "Tummy Ache," the video for "Sweet Disaster" by Dreamers finds itself in the aisles of its local convenience store. The difference is that while "Tummy Ache" only hung their for a bit as it had better places to go, "Sweet Disaster" decided just to go ahead and make a night of it. According guitarist/vocalist Nick Wold, this is because the video is meant to pay homage to the movie Clerks. The video was filmed all night at a corner store in Echo Park (Los Angeles). Nelson (bass/vocals), Jacob (drums) and Marissa Luck play the store clerks, while Nick plays all the customers. Everything is going pretty par for the course, you know shotgunning Red Bulls and sword fighting with Slim Jims, until the slushy machine breaks. Then the eggs get faces, the Slim Jims become glow sticks and bubbles appear EVERYWHERE. Why the trippy take on Clerks? Nick suggested that "With all the serious stuff going on in the world we wanted to use the video to escape reality, and hopefully laugh for a few minutes. The video is about the inner mind of all dreamers, as they live out their own sweet disasters in every day life."

"Sweet Disaster" is from the band's 2016 release This Album Does Not Exist. They are currently touring with the Griswolds in support of it.



Eyes not working? Try this:

Food Flavored Artist: A Double Shot of Honey

What's better than one honey flavored band? How about two. Under one roof. For the same low price. You in?

First up is our sparse, distortion heavy version of that sweet confection. We call it our Pale Honey. There is a lot to love about this brand. It comes all the way from Gothenburg, Sweden. Their newest take is called "Real Thing." According to the beekeepers, guitarist/vocalist Tuva Lodmark and drummer Nelly Daltrey, "Real Thing" is what happens when minds get blown. It's about knowing what you want and going for it. It is both confidence and courage pressed and packed into one song. "Real Thing" will be included as part of the band's second album. The as yet untitled album is expected sometime in spring of next year.



Our second flavor comes from London. We call it Black Honey. This take, dubbed "Hello Today" reeks of shoegaze. It has a more potent, right in your face flavor than the Pale Honey. Being served alongside "Hello Today" is the band's brand new, debut video. The video, directed by Nadia Lee Cohen, finds Black Honey frontwoman/head beekeeper Izzy B Phillips squaring off against a fly-infested heart. According to Phillips, the video is about a girl trying to put her demons behind her. She is followed by an omen (the heart). It drives her to delirium. In an attempt to escape her past, she buries that omen in the desert. Check out the video and audio below:



Just the audio:

Food Flavored Album Review: This Album Does Not Exist by DREAMERS

When I visited Brooklyn back in July, I was limited to just one big meal in the city. I had to sift through pages and pages of bookmarks, whittle down hundreds of options to just one. I decided that my one meal should be at Champs Diner in Williamsburg. They seemed to be everything that Tampa was lacking. Completely vegan, highly recommended, delicious diner food. After choosing Champs, I figured the hard work was done. It wasn't. There were dozens of items on Champs menu that sounded amazing. How could I choose just one? While I eventually did select one, a pretty good buffalo chicken sandwich, there was another item, an opportunity cost for those economic nerds out there, on the Champs special of the day board that stayed with me long after I left Brooklyn and returned to Tampa. That item was a Cauliflower Po' Boy. According to the description, this Po' Boy included breaded cauliflower, cajun slaw, pickles and vegan bacon. I've made a version of this sandwich several times over the past month. Most of these Cauliflower Po' Boy experiences have coincided with my listening to the debut LP from DREAMERS.

DREAMERS debut, titled This Album Does Not Exist, and the Cauliflower Po' Boy actually have quite a bit in common. On the surface, both have ties to Brooklyn. The Po' Boy idea, born at Champs, while DREAMERS spent about two years living in a practice space in the city. Both recipe and album are blurred culminations of varied experiences and tastes. For DREAMERS this means that the band wrote the album while suffering through self-induced houselessness and the aforementioned two years living in a Brooklyn practice space. Also inspiring parts of the album are the band's circling of the US four times in a small van and their experience seeing countless cities and meeting new people everywhere they went. Meanwhile, the Po' Boy variety comes from its spicy hot sauce, sour pickles, fragrant Cajun spice and salty bacon. But let's not just hang out on the surface. Let's dig a bit deeper into both album and recipe and see how else album inspires recipe and vice versa.

At the top of DREAMERS This Album Does Not Exist is "Drugs," an anthemic sing-a-long that touches on millennial partying habits. Stay high, get higher, don't think for yourselves, follow along like sheep, its okay because you are still young, do it all, everything, for the drugs, you can never get enough. These partying habits, when run through a Po' Boy language translator, are similar to what I experience when it comes to pickles. F*** if I can't get enough, do it all for them, put peanut butter on them and chalk it all up to the youth that sloshes around inside. The key here is good pickles. Don't buy that s*** that sits on your grocery counters unrefrigerated. Get 'em local from whoever dabbles in pickle making. Trust me, the subtle sourness and crunch these local honeys provide will be so worth it.



Now that you've got a fist full of drugs racing through your central nervous system, DREAMERS come out firing with one of the fastest tracks on the album. "Never Too Late To Dance" is another in a long line of songs about dancing that actually make me want to leave the kitchen and turn some ballroom full of fussy bottoms on its head. This track is catchy as hell thanks to the rhythmic background, pulsating drum beats, the grouped out oh oh ohs and the "can we chase the fire from a lost romance, it's never too late to dance" chorus. Playing the same catchy as hell, fiery, stay drunk on your kiss role in the Po' Boy is the cauliflower. Dredged in corn meal, spices, soy milk and hot sauce, and then baked in the oven, the cauliflower is hot, carby and difficult to resist. Sometimes I plan to make three or four sandwiches but only wind up with two because of my sneaking cauliflower pieces between sandwich construction. My favorite part of the sandwich, my favorite song on the album.



"Last Night on Earth" is one of those songs about watching the world blow up around you. There is a sense of urgency to the track as it questions whether this is heaven or a curse. The only thing apparent is that "s***'s going crazy." Despite the possibility that this could be the last night on earth, the song's participants seem to remain pretty level headed. I mean just the fact that they can take a few moments to contemplate whether this really is the end and seem to be pretty clear about what they want to happen if this is their last night on earth speaks volumes about their "coolness." Had this Po' Boy had some cucumbers in it, I totally would've paired that up with "Last Night on Earth." But because it doesn't, I went with the bacon portion of the sandwich. Why you ask? I feel like the bacon embraces its own flavor. S**t's going all crazy around it with cajun slaw, spicy cauliflower and sour pickles and the bacon does the whole remain calm and bacon on thing. For this Po' Boy, I used the Bacun recipe found here.



Without sounding too much like a television show, I previously featured Sweet Disaster in this post. In the post I said "tonight, you're on top of the world, the king (or queen) of some late night, neon loaded, kingdom of debauchery. Across from you is the person of your moment, the one who puts nothing but bad things into your mind when they are around. Each new destination, on this fine evening, means a different jukebox to control. You've spent time with the Ramones, the Rolling Stones and a sea of others whom you can no longer recollect. As the two of you step outside and watch the final bar close its door and shut off the lights, you lean in for your goodbyes. Despite the fact that you are both swimming "in a river of champagne," a quick glance shows that you are both on the same page when it comes to this night. While "some nights feel like every night, this one feels brand new." And that's me quoting me. "Sweet Disaster" translates nicely to the cajun slaw component of the Po' Boy. The slaw could've easily felt like every other slaw, but it's combination of vegan mayo, cabbage and cajun seasonings comes across as something brand new. Of note, after numerous failed attempts at homemade aquafaba mayo, I bit the bullet and used Hampton Creek's Just Mayo for my vegan mayo. It was my first time using the product and I loved its balance of acidic richness and smooth, almost sauce like texture.



Which brings us to the bread. The bread needs to be a good one as it is what pulls everything together in the sandwich. It is both the first and last thing that you taste. I can't help but think that all the other ingredients probably wish they could play the same essential role that the bread does in the Po' Boy. I've tried to massage all their egos and tell them how important they all are but there is definitely some jealousy that lingers between pickles, cauliflower, slaw and bread. While "Lucky Dog" isn't the first song or the last one and it doesn't come across as the most memorable (despite its kickass handclaps and driving sing-along chorus), it does deal with a similar issue. "Lucky Dog" is a song about having the hottest girl in the crew and trying to stay grounded. It isn't easy to garner all that attention and keep your head about you. The line "All my friends ingredients, wish they were me instead" seems to sum up both album and recipe.



Most of the other songs didn't really do much for me. "Wolves (You Got Me)" and "To the Fire" both got better with age and perhaps, in a month or two, they could play some role in defining the Cauliflower Po' Boy. But in the here and now, they just fall a bit short of the tracks I highlighted.

Overall, I had a blast this summer eating Po' Boys and listening to This Record Doesn't Exist by DREAMERS. Neither album nor recipe is life defining. They won't wind up on any all time lists. But both are joined together when it comes to crafting a definition for the summer of 2016.

Food Flavored Song: Orange Juice by Bellows

Way up in Northern Michigan there is a mom and pop tonic water bottle making plant. This plant has remained in the same family generation after generation. Their tonic water bottle design has also been pretty static since the day they began hand crafting them. As the current owner says, "Why mess with what works." These tonic water bottles, once molded and hardened, are sent to artisanal water plants across the eastern and midwestern United States. There they are filled and shipped to local stores for consumer consumption.

One of these mom and pop water bottles made their way to Brooklyn, New York. It was eyed in some store by Oliver Kalb, songwriter and producer of the bedroom-recording project Bellows. Perhaps he wavered a bit, compared prices before jumping in feet first or, what's more likely, he saw that sleek design and immediately knew that was the tonic water bottle for him. Kalb drank the water inside, still felt some sort of connection to the bottle (probably a lot to do with his hating to lose), and decided to fill it up with orange juice. That orange juice filled mom and pop tonic water bottle then proceeded to accompany Kalb on an evening of concert going at the Palisades. It wasn't until one of those people who like to hang around Kalb and pretend they are trying to help asked him if he was through with his orange juice filled mom and pop tonic water bottle that the connection was lost. At this point Kalb tossed it away so that someone else could enjoy the connection that mom and pop tonic water bottles create.

At least that is what I took from the new Bellows track "Orange Juice." If you got something else, feel free to share in the comments. Before you do, I should mention, I feel like I nailed this one.



By the way, Bellows has a new album, Fist & Palm, due out September 30th via Double Double Whammy.

Oh, by the, by the way (that's sort of like PPS right?) Bellows will also be doing a bit of fall touring to support the album. They will be sharing the stage with Lisa Prank and PWR BTTM.

Food Flavored Song: Apple Pie by Rafferty

When I think of Apple Pies, I think of a mouthwatering blend of sweet, tart and crisp apples swirled superbly with cinnamon, brown sugar and, perhaps, a slight sprinkling of nutmeg or lemon (if I want to get a little funky). All of that is then blanketed and baked in a golden, flakey crust. Are you picturing what I'm describing? If so, I did my job. If not, I need to head back to my local writer's guild and tell them that their crappy (and free) descriptive writing class did not work. Maybe I'll even write up a bill and charge them for my time.

Back to that picture you had. Was the setting a church bake sale? Inquiring minds and s**t. Okay, take a gigantic brain eraser and get rid of everything you just imagined, except for the church. Because Rafferty's debut single, "Apple Pie," ain't sweet. It ain't the kind of thing that you'll want to dip your finger in and taste. You won't be clamoring to lick the empty bowl. A lemon? That's child's play. "Apple Pie" is grimy and sinfully fun. It is smokey and boozy and feels like a striptease at church. The music resembles something that your garage might house after you move that old organ that your grandfather's church just sold in. There's blasting guitars that start and stop on a dime while the organ, oh that organ, pulsates in the distance. Rafferty brings the fun by incorporating a series of clap tracks, belting out an "Ahhhhh, ahhh, ahhh" chorus and taking a page from the preacher's book with an intense call and response. If he brought the fire and brimstone instead of just begging for some of that apple pie, it would seem right at home.

Nope, your typical apple pie just doesn't fit with this track. If you want a dish that epitomizes what Rafferty has going on here, you need to imagine something closer to these Devilish Apple Pie Tacos. These tacos bring all that sugary goodness of the original, lock it away in some fried tortillas and then get covered with three types of cream (yep, they'll need some of that vegan magic to make them kosher). That sounds more like it.

Food Flavored Video: Milk Bath by Petite Meller

Stereogum wrote an interesting article yesterday about what America is doing during this time of  political tumult (which they describe as Donald Trump getting the Republican nomination, only a marginally better Democrat, cops killing black civilians, an NRA controlled Congress and some ugly sexual assault cases). In case you are wondering the website concluded that when Americans aren't holding peace vigils or shouting at each other on social media, they are watching famous people sing old songs. Yawn. We can be better for sure, America. We have to be better.

At the bottom of this Stereogum piece I was appalled to learn that Fergie has a song called "M.I.L.F. $" with a pretty popular video (24 million views and counting). In this video Fergie, and some other people that I'm sure are famous, are swimming, drinking and dumping milk all over themselves. The whole thing might've been interesting if A)If someone other than Fergie was singing/purring/adjusting the pitch/I don't know what the hell you call that s*** that was happening B)Everyone in the video wasn't trying so hard to be sexy C)The people involved had some sort of sense of humor and D)Well, there isn't a D because I've spent too much time on Fergie as it is.

You are probably thinking, yeah Tender, we feel you but really how is anyone supposed to douse themselves in milk without being sexy, actually sing and not take themselves too seriously? I mean, don't be part of the problem Tender, actually offer up a solution. You are like those message board creeps that just troll along in people's....whoa, pump the breaks milk man. Before you take things too far, let me actually offer a solution which, might I add, I totally planned to do without your suggestion had you not interrupted me with your thoughts. You want milk covered and not sexy? You want singing? You want not taking things too seriously? Try on Petite Meller's "Milk Bath." This food flavored video is everything that Fergie's "M.I.L.F.$" is not.



Just the sounds:

Food Flavored Video: Take Me Dancing by Will Joseph Cook

There is this annoying loudmouth at my work that has a desk right beside mine. For years I've tried my best to ignore her. I've done everything from noise canceling headphones to putting in a formal request to have me moved. Last week I had enough. I grabbed a stapler and shoot some staples in her general direction. Because of my excellent placement, they severed her vocal cords and I've experienced nothing but peace and quiet since.

There is this redhead at work, a real looker. She always wears these Marilyn Monroe style dresses. For weeks I've encouraged her to place a fan on the floor, step over top of it and do her best Seven Year Itch impression. Yesterday, she finally did. I used a hole punch to pretend I was paparazzi.

One of my co-workers owns a penny farthing. Every Wednesday she rides it to work. I dress up like a bike messenger and transport my mountain bike on top of my car. The two of us ride through the office halls.

So, unfortunately, my office space is nowhere near cool enough for this kind of stuff to take place. These were all dreams I've had throughout the years dozing in the cafeteria. Will Joseph Cook's video for "Take Me Dancing" has brought all my dreams to life. In the video Will and his "co-worker" do all of the things I mentioned above (minus the penny farthing). They also karaoke into a vacuum, complete numerous synchronized dance numbers, play a shortened version of hide-n-seek, drink fancy drinks, race on wheelie chairs, hold a budget meeting where the more dancing that takes place the higher the profit goes and eat a bagel, banana and apple with a fork and knife. The track itself is a hugely addictive slice of indie pop. It features an intense melody and massive hook, which is reminiscent to a lot of Will's other work.

Check out the food flavored video:



Just want the sounds? Check this:

Food Flavored Song: Sweet Disaster by DREAMERS

Tonight, you're on top of the world, the king (or queen) of some late night, neon loaded, kingdom of debauchery. Across from you is the person of your moment, the one who puts nothing but bad things into your mind when they are around. Each new destination, on this fine evening, means a different jukebox to control. You've spent time with the Ramones, the Rolling Stones and a sea of others whom you can no longer recollect. As the two of you step outside and watch the final bar close its door and shut off the lights, you lean in for your goodbyes. Despite the fact that you are both swimming "in a river of champagne," a quick glance shows that you are both on the same page when it comes to this night. While "some nights feel like every night, this one feels brand new."

This is the playful picture painted in DREAMERS' joyful new single "Sweet Disaster." The upbeat tone is amazing considering that this song, and the others on the band's upcoming debut LP This Album Does Not Exist, was born out of homelessness, joblessness and borderline hopelessness. Failed relationships, vacated apartments, crashing in practice spaces, nomadism, cross country moves are just some of the things that the band has dealt with the past few years. While these situations play out in the lyrics of the music and the escapism theme that seems to connect the tracks, the band works hard to not let them invade the world around their songs. Instead of bringing you down with the big questions in life, DREAMERS hope to have you dance those questions away and embrace the joys that come with living.

It definitely isn't an easy task, delivering stories of pain and suffering in a jovial manner that gets people dancing in their seats, that DREAMERS are hoping to accomplish. While judgement of their success as a whole will have to be reserved for another day, "Sweet Disaster" proves that they are moving in the right direction.
 

Food Flavored Song: A Living Human Girl by The Regrettes

“There are times when you feel really insecure and you really don’t like yourself, so I wrote it ("A Living Human Girl") for people who feel that and I wrote it for myself. I just felt like there wasn’t a song like that out there. A song that if I was feeling super shitty about myself, that I could listen to. I wanted something that would make girls and boys feel confident.” -Lydia Night 

Lydia Night is the outspoken front woman for perfectly imperfect LA punk band the Regrettes. The band blends song writing that is both "brazen" and "unabashed" with a pop aesthetic reminiscent of 50's and 60's acts like the Temptations, Buddy Holly or any of those bubblegum pop bands that you currently can't remember the name of.

A blending like this could easily melt in ones face. I'm thinking cheese to the max. But the Regrettes totally pull it off, at least they do in their new single, "A Living Human Girl." "A Living Human Girl" deals with the notion that Lydia, and most women for that matter, aren't perfect pinup models when you get close to them. Real women will sometimes look pretty and sometimes will not. They might have small boobs and untoned stomachs. They'll get little red bumps when they shave. Basically, they'll not be perfect. Lydia's point is that not being perfect is okay. She essentially tells you everything that is wrong with her, gets the shit out of the way early, so that she doesn't have to put on some front. You know what you are getting when you hang with her. If you are okay with that, cool. If you aren't, well, hit the road because she'll find someone else who is. While the topic of "A Living Human Girl" is certainly serious (I don't know how many young girls and boys I see trying to hide their imperfections instead of embracing them and being okay with who they are) and Lydia was really angry when she penned, she doesn't scream and shout to drive home her point. She delivers it with humor, she makes you laugh and, most importantly, makes you feel better about your own imperfections.

So how's this song play in the world of food? Two ways actually. First there's a line near the beginning where Lydia says that she has "A nice full belly that is filled with food." The tastier food flavoring comes from the Regrettes press release which lists their genre "cupcake punk." Nice little sugary confections iced to punk perfection. I like it. Just like cupcakes, you could eat the Regrettes all yourself, but might I advise sharing them with a friend. You'll feel a lot better that way.

Food Flavored Video: Shaky Ground by Freedom Fry

Near the end of the year, one of the girls in my class told me that her summer plans included learning a new language. Seeing as she was already bilingual (English and Spanish) I expected her newest language to be French. That seems to be the play in America. Learn Spanish or French, maybe both. When she announced that her newest language would be Cantonese, I was definitely caught a bit off guard. Her explanation, business reasons, seemed to make sense but really, what third grader says that they want to spend their summer months learning Cantonese?

So what does this have to with the new video for Freedom Fry's "Shaky Ground," a single that tore up the internet when it was released last year? Well, "Shaky Ground" is one of the more unique videos I've seen in recent years. This uniqueness of the video has nothing to do with the singing coconuts that periodically show up throughout, although the two foodie-music bloggers in the world certainly rejoiced about that one. What really drives me to call this video unique is that it is presented bilingually. Within the video, the actual single for "Shaky Ground" plays through twice. The first go round finds Bruce and Marie singing in English and dancing with friends at a US style house party. Their is a momentary pause and then the single starts up again. This time through a French version of Bruce and Marie make their way to the states and put on an empty pool concert/dance party. The verses are presented in French during this second go round.

Coconuts? Bilingualism? A creepy smoking man? About the only thing missing from the video is some greasy, American style, freedom fries. I'll let the Vegan Weirdos Next Door do the honors.

"Shaky Ground" video:



Just the sounds:

Food Flavored Artist: Donots perform "I Will Deny"

What exactly does a German donut, called a Donot, taste like? What does it sound like? How does it react if you drop it into a chemical accident? These are only a small sampling of the many questions that I have pondered since March 4th. That was the day that the new single from legendary German punk rock band Donots arrived in my inbox.

For the first forty-five seconds "I Will Deny" is nothing more (or less) than a baker's dozen batch of ohing, melodic guitar strumming and spoken word sampling. Then the track kicks things into hyper gear: the music speeds up, the vocals become more prominent and loud, the sneering goes through the roof. It is from this point forward that the Donots really put on display why they have been able to navigate the fields of German punk for so long. The track combines all that is good and right with classic punk (think energy and loud delivery) with a melodic passion that would appeal to a new generation of punk fan. Add in the immediacy and present day relevance of the lyrics and you've got a punk song that should be able to transcend genres.

That's a breakfast best served with stolen cancer cash and coffee.