Movie Food: Bridesmaids' "Bear" Sandwich Fondled by Red Sammy

J-Fur had been bugging people for weeks to go see the Bridesmaids movie. No one seemed interested. Her sister and I finally broke down last weekend and agreed to accompany her to the theater. I had heard very little about the movie, other than J-Fur telling me it was a comedy, so I didn't really have high hopes. I can't go so far as to say I was pleasantly surprised because I didn't like it all that much but I wasn't bored. I even laughed a few times. Since the movie revolves around a wedding it is only natural that there are a bunch of food related scenes. There is a restaurant excursion that leads to food poisoning in wedding dresses, a seductive nut eating stand-off and the typical I must make amends with baked goods even though my bakery experience was a failed one. The one that struck me as the most bizarre is the "bear" sandwich that appears during the ending credits. I decided to do my own interpretation of that scene, although mine was vegetarian and never made it fully into the bedroom.

Bridesmaid's Bear Sandwich

(printable version)

for the tofu:

-1 block of tofu, sliced into thin rectangles

-2 Tbs. vegetable oil

-1/2 cup flour, for dredging

-1/2 cup nondairy milk

-1/2 cup fine cornmeal

-1/2 cup flour

-1/4 cup nutritional yeast

-salt and pepper, to taste

-garlic and onion powder, to taste

-pinch of cayenne

for the pesto:

-1 clove of garlic

-1 cup basil leaves

-1 Tbs. pine nuts

-pinch of salt

-1/4 cup olive oil

-Parmesan Cheese

for the sandwich:

-provolone cheese

-baguette

1. Heat the vegetable oil in a cast iron skillet. Mix the cornmeal, 1/2 cup flour, nutritional yeast, salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder and cayenne in a metal bowl. Place milk in a second bowl and remaining flour in a third bowl.

2. Dredge the tofu slices by placing them first in the flour, second in the milk and ending with the seasoned flour. Drop into the oil and fry until golden on each side (about five minutes). Place on a paper towel lined plate and set aside.

3. To make the pesto, drop the garlic in a moving food processor. Add the basil, pine nuts and salt and pulse until pine nuts have been reduced to small chunks. Scrape the sides down and add the olive oil. Transfer to a bowl and grate in Parmesan. Mix.

4. Create the bear sandwiches by slicing the baguette down the middle. Spread the pesto on one side of the baguette. Top with tofu slices, provolone and the other baguette. Growl in an animalistic way before eating.

I would doubt that Red Sammy loves sandwiches as much as the characters in the movie but their sounds go fit perfectly with the construction of a "bear" sandwich. Think of the twangy graveyard alt-country music as the bread with the raspy lyrics serving as the filling. Both "It Ain't You" and "Cactus Flower" didn't immediately strike my fancy. But the more I played them, the more I warmed. Eventually it got to the point where I was seeking them out. Both tracks can be found on the band's new album A Cheaper Kind of Love.

Red Sammy-Cactus Flower

Red Sammy-It Ain't You

Movie Food: Roasted Tofu and Couscous Pine Nuts fluffed with Dr. Dog and Donnis

You know what really curdles my milk (aside from those people that are always standing outside of grocery stores on Saturdays and Sundays trying to get me to buy their stupid cookies or landfill fattening discount cards)? Movie makers that create entertaining films that peter out in the last five minutes. Even my third graders know not to pull that stuff. I've witnessed two such films recently. One suffers because the two lovers repair their relationship only to have him die in the crumbling twin towers. The other stays too long with a belly dancer and a much too old protagonist chasing thieves who stole his scooter bringing about his death(?). At least the latter inspired a recipe. Bismillah!

Roasted Tofu Served over Couscous with Pine Nuts

(printable version-coming when google quits being slow)

for the tofu:

-2 Tbs. olive oil

-1 onion

-3 cloves garlic, minced

-4 roma tomatoes

-1 tsp. saffron threads

-1/2 tsp. black pepper

-1/2 cup dry white wine

-1 block of tofu, sliced into rectangles

-2 Tbs. chopped parsley

for the couscous:

-2 Tbs. unsalted butter

-3/4 cup chopped shallots

-pepper

-1 1/2 cups couscous

-1/2 cup toasted pine nuts

-2 Tbs. chopped parsley

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Using a frying pan, heat the onion in the olive oil until onion is translucent. Add the garlic cloves and cook for another minute.

2. Add the tomatoes, saffron, pepper and white wine to the onions and garlic. Simmer over medium heat for five minutes.

3. Lay the tofu in a 9x13 baking dish. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Pour the tomato sauce over the tofu and bake, uncovered, for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley.

4. While the tofu is baking, melt butter in a large saucepan. Add the shallots and cook over medium heat for 3 minutes, until translucent. Add the vegetable stock and pepper (to taste) and bring to a boil. Remove the saucepan from heat and add the couscous. Cover the pan and set aside for 10 minutes. Stir in pine nuts and fluff with a fork.

5. Place healthy scoops of couscous on plates and top with two or three slices of tofu. If so inclined, say Bismillah!

About the time I was finishing my second poorly ended movie and plotting out this couscous dish, Philadelphia's Dr. Dog released a new track "Nobody Knows Who You Are." I can't say I am a big fan of these guys (even though I do love all things Philadelphia) but this tracks catchy chorus and music that would make bobblehead proud make it hard for me to ignore (and believe me I tried). The harmonica was like icing on the cake (or tofu on the couscous).

Dr. Dog-Nobody Knows Who You Are

Unlike those movie makers, Donnis knows how to end things with a bang. I caught just the last few songs of his set last night at the Matt and Kim show in St. Pete (missed most of the show standing in line waiting for the State Theater to let me in) and he certainly had arms in the venue bouncing. "Tonight" was one of the last songs he performed. Couscous, take note!

Movie Food: Dinner for Schmucks Orzo with Greens and Meeting of Important People

I was lucky enough to catch a premiere showing of Dinner For Schmucks last night at Muvico. I had a nice reserved spot thanks to DF and her husband Jay (he is a blind movie critic, check out his site here). The movie wasn't all that spectacular, it made me laugh but it was very cliched and predictable. My favorite scene was the idiot dinner, which in the previews seems like a much bigger part of the movie than what it actually was. Steve Carell's (the office, Little Miss Sunshine) character was a dead rat collector. He gathered their carcasses and turned them into artistic expressions (the best of which was the rendition of "The Last Supper"). In honor of the rats, I concocted a very cheesy orzo and greens recipe.

Orzo with Tomatoes and Spinach
(printable version)

-olive oil
-1 package, orzo
-1 onion
-salt and pepper (to taste)
-1 can of diced tomatoes (28 oz)
-1 cup, white wine
-2 1/2 cups, water
-32 ounces spinach
-2 ounces asiago cheese
-1/3 cup Parmesan

1. Heat olive oil in a large wok or skillet. Finely chop the onion and add it to the oil along with salt and pepper. Cook until onions are translucent.

2. Add the wine, orzo, tomatoes, and water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until orzo is tender and has absorbed the liquid. (Add more water if necessary, drain if too much).

3. Add the spinach and asiago. Cook, stirring occasionally, for four minutes. Divide the pasta amongst four bowls and top with Parmesan.

The Dinner for Shmucks is a meeting of important people vying for promotion and status in the business world. Another type of Meeting of Important People takes place in Pittsburgh. This meeting includes a new EP, Quit Music, that will be out this week as well as voyages amongst Jesus followers and country wives. Its poppy rock with a voice that actually sings and it is catchy as heaven. You can download the entire EP and it only costs you an email address.

Meeting of Important People-Jesus Song