Sunday, January 31, 2016

Click (Food): PETA Gets Sexy, Veggans Get A Name, National Hog Farmers Blog Gets Sour and Austin Possibly Gets a Vegan Milk Shake Truck

PETA gets sexy, veggans try to gain footing in the world of classifications, the National Hog Farmers blog has no sense of humor and Raw Matcha Brownies are just some of the many things that caught my eye this month. Here are some other things: 

  • Whoa boy. If you thought television execs got their panties in a wad because of Janet Jackson's nip slip during the Super Bowl halftime show, imagine how far those things would be riding up their ass if PETA was able to show their new ad. Be thankful, chicken wing eater guy, that this video won't show. Otherwise your wife/girlfriend might be seeking out someone new during the second half.
  • As if "vegetarians" who eat fish, lacto-ovo, pollo-vegetarians, flexitarians, freegans, and cannibal-vegetarians weren't enough of a cluster**** we've now got a new classification in town. Veggans and their veganism with eggs designation are tearing up Instagram to the point that Yahoo felt the need to write about it.
  • Seriously Austin, you can go (insert disgusting sexual reference here). You have a vegan taco trailer, vegan yacht, vegan bbq, vegan banana stand and vegan brunch truck roaming your streets. Why do you need a possible vegan milk shake truck? Can't we get some of that love here in Florida? 
  • A Swiss vegan is declared unfit for military service because he refuses to wear any leather. The weird thing is, and I know it is Switzerland a country that doesn't really poke their noses into other people's affairs, this dude is cool with not killing animals but okay with offing humans?

  • Vegan petroleum jelly is now available. It is made of "avocado and other types of fruit and vegetable oil that is converted into jelly." My calloused nipples thank you Keys. 
  • Minnesota's vegan butcher shop, the first in the US, saw its grand opening last week. The National Hog Farmer Blog was not amused. 

Gluten-Free Thin Mint Cookies by Where You Get Your Protein?

When that little Girl Scout Approached me and asked me to buy some cookies I took her ordering form and looked for the most vegan friendly cookie there was. Turns out Thin Mints are now vegan. So why would anyone want to go to the trouble of making their own when they can just find some cute little girl scout to order from? I can only think of two reasons to make your own. One, the Girl Scout version is expensive as f***. Two, you need a gluten free take on it. Where You Get Your Protein's version takes care of, at the very least, the latter of these reasons. 

Smoky Vegan Macaroni and Cheese by Blissful Basil

I once put smoked paprika on a piece of chewing gum covered in cat fur. That is the only time that smoked paprika has ever failed to create something fabulous. Seeing Ashley over at Blissful Basil include it in her macaroni and cheese dish makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.

Oven Fried Popcorn Cauliflower Bites from Let's Be Vegan

I've never eaten at Red Lobster or Long John Silvers or any other place that serves popcorn shrimp so I have no history with the dish. My imagination tells me that little popcorn morsels probably taste like Baltimore. I'll finally get my answer when I try these out next weekend during the Super Bowl.

Raw Matcha Brownies from Becoming Ness

These brownies look exactly like the ones my mom used to make (except they don't come from a box, have green on top, include matcha, aren't baked, include dates and cacao, are sweetened by rice malt and include nuts). Other than those few differences, I could be sitting on my mom's lap downing a plate of these.