Monday, August 24, 2015

Click (Food): Why Meat is for Pussies, Lobster Mushroom Shellfish Towers, a German Penis and Mashed Potato Waffles

Here's some of what's been going on in the world of vegan foods:

  • Frivolous lawsuit alert: A restaurant that used to be popular with Crossfitters until they made the switch to an all vegan menu is being sued by investors for making that switch. Can I get away with suing restaurants for not making the switch? I'm gonna give it a try. First up, Applebee's. I'll let you know how it goes.
  • You swore up and down that it couldn't be done. Chef Tal Ronnen showed you otherwise. Crossroads in LA has taken that great splurge meal, the Shellfish Tower, and come up with a vegan version chock full of lobster...mushrooms.
  • I dated this vegan/gluten free girl once and she never wore lipstick. I asked her why and she told me they just don't make lipstick in vegan and gluten free flavors. Bella Reina is out the change that. Their Rebel Red Lipstick is gluten free, animal product free and chemical free. A triumvirate of free. With so much free floating around, it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that there is a Reagan involved. Nancy Reagan is the creator of Bella Reina. No, not that one. That one.  
  • I don't know any German (outside of Schnitzel) but when I see vegan and penis together it makes me wonder what kind of freaky stuff is going on. 

Simple Mashed Potato Waffles by Crazy Vegan Kitchen

I always wondered what became of the mountain of mashed potatoes that were used in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I assumed it was churned into gnocchi. If Crazy Vegan Kitchen had her way, they became waffles.   

California Burrito Tacos by Fettle Vegan

Another person telling me that because I don't live in California, I don't know Mexican food. While these people are probably right, isn't there a nicer way of saying it? Like maybe not saying it at all? I've been doing this same style of tacos recently with yucca fries on top. What was that? Did you hear it? Oh, it was only Mexo-California Taco Lady rolling over in her grave. Her dead self is wondering just how the communists were able to pull that one off. 

Bourbon Vanilla Bean Scones from Morsels & Moonshine

There's a reason why I've never infused bourbon with vanilla bean. I don't want my family to find me drunk on the side of the road. I may have to risk it for these scones. 

Beer Battered Artichoke Hearts from Neurotic Mommy

I love Neurotic Mommy and completely get where she is coming from. Who doesn't want to feed their family only the finest foods? But I do have to say that sometimes I worry about what's going on in her head. Take these Artichoke Hearts. Neurotic Mommy dubs these artichoke hearts Three Ingredient Beer Battered Artichoke Hearts. The ingredients? Beer, flour, artichoke hearts, salt and pepper. Count 'em up and let me know what you get because no matter how I arrange the ingredients, I don't wind up counting three. 

Zucchini Tater Tots from She Likes Food

Whatever you do do not try to bake these on wax paper. I had a friend who did that. Things didn't go as planned.