Sunday, August 23, 2015

Click (Music): Abandoned Places, Drones, Rocket League and Self Help Pop Music

Here's my last two weeks in a music flavored nutshell.


"Uncover Your Eyes" by Young Empires

Back in the fall of 1998, some friends and I decided to go see the remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. On the drive to the theater Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" played on the radio. The track got stuck for a few seconds and replayed "I am my own worst enemy, cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me" at least a dozen times. During the movie, I pretty much sat there with my eyes covered the entire time. Not because the movie was scary but because it was so damn terrible and uninteresting. After ditching out early, we decided to try our hand at cooking up a recipe for homemade Napalm. While we were in the process of filling a bottle with fifty-four cents worth of gasoline, an extremely weird bird began hovering around. It waited for us to look away and then flew in the window of our car and kidnapped a bag of Cheetos. I imagine if I could've properly turned this day into a poem and put some music to it, it would sound something like Young Empires' "Uncover Your Eyes." Unfortunately, my audio attempt sounded like this.

"Doors" by Cardiknox

Self-help books are a gigantic time drag. Cardiknox knows this. They also know that there is some value in them. That's why they've created a brand new genre of music called electro-self-help pop (mantra: Listen to indie rock! Feel empowered!). Their first foray into this new genre is "Doors." Within the first minute, they drop ten pieces of helpful advice including "every time a door closes another one opens" and "just because I'm breaking doesn't mean I'm broken". Just imagine if Joel Osteen rattled off advice at that pace, he could write self-help picture books instead of the long chapter books he currently writes. I conducted an official poll with the two other people who are in the room with me right now and 100 percent of them agreed that they would be more likely to get self-help if it came in picture book form. Self-helpers, you're missing out on an entire population of short attention spanned people in need of your services. Cardinknox showed you the way, now it's your job to make it happen!

"Summer Ends" by You Are Number Six

You Are Number Six mastermind Theo was born on 06/06. His first EP was released on 06/06. I scoured his website for hours but could not find out whether these were different 06/06s or not. If they were the same year, take a minute to contemplate what Theo achieved on the day of his birth. He named a band, named an album, set up a website to promote the album, sang songs for the album and played the music. Compare that to my daughter who only ate and pooped on her first day. I cannot even fathom all that Theo will accomplish by the time he turns 18. Mind blowing!

"Summer Ends" features Lise on vocals. It pays homage to the 80's.

"Firework" by Hollywood Principle

I used to play sports video games pretty religiously. Now I only play them when they can get me enough cash to pay for my Chipotle addiction. One game that I would probably play if I played video games on the reg is Rocket League. Rocket League is a game that takes soccer style rules and applies them to physics-based vehicles. The game has upwards of 100,000 players a day (on both the PS4 and computer platforms). The game is usually accompanied by songs that feature a futuristic mix of electro-pop. Game developer Psyonix recently reached out to Hollywood Principle and asked if they would be willing to make their song "Firework" the official theme song. The band agreed. Who could pass up 100,000 additional listeners each day?

On a bit of a side note, I've had a few offers for soundtracks myself but I'm saving my work. I'm waiting for American Standard to approach me about being the theme song for the flush of a toilet. That's pure gold right there. How many people have toilets? How many times do they go a day? With a few quick strokes of my math pen I've determined that my royalties would be 9,000,000,000,000 dollars every year. Maybe not as cool as Rocket League but it would definitely pay the bills.

"Pains 4 U" by Cash + David (featuring Rome Fortune)

According to Cash + David, "Pains 4 U" is a hypnotic repent. (It's) a call for redemption after a colossal loss. It's a mantra of contrition with the desire to pay off a debt of pain.

For me, it's the first day of school last year.


"Born Ready" by the Disco Fries Featuring Hope Murphy (Halogen Remix)

"Born Ready" makes me feel like I'm in some sort of Lerina Garcia alternative reality. Normally the Disco Fries are the ones doing the remixing. But this time around Halogen is the one pushing the buttons.

"Beat of My Drum" by POWERS (The White Panda Remix)

If I'm Lerina Garcia, The White Panda Remix of "Beat of My Drum" by Powers coincides with that moment when I realize that sleeping beside me isn't my current boyfriend but the guy that I took home one night after a club totally doused my tight leather skirt in bubbles. Pretending you are someone else can give you weird little jolts of feeling that you never knew existed. Like right now I'm strangely excited to try on a tight leather skirt.


"Sun" by Jacuzzi Boys

Yash sent me the new Jacuzzi Boys video for "Sun" along with the following story:
Did you see this trippy Jacuzzi Boys video? The song is called "Sun" and the video is a one of those early 90's green screen specials with weird effects. I did a video like this with my sister on the Jersey Shore boardwalk to The Beach Boys back in the day. I showed this to a friend and he laughed and said he did one like this to Metallica! It's pretty great. Let me know if you can post.
It wasn't until I read Yash's description that I realized making a video in front of a green screen at the shore was sort of a beach goers rite of passage. I did this exact same video with my brother back in '95. We sang "Self-Esteem" by the Offspring.  

"Drone" by Fidlar

Ronald Reagan, Breaking Bad jumpsuits, fake brains and Volkswagen vans. Just four more reasons why I'm f***ing stoked for this new Fidlar album.

"Leave a Trace" by Chvrches

There's not much to the video for Chvrches new song. Lauren Mayberry dances in and out of the purplish darkness, in front of a mirror and while splashing in a pool of water. I love the simplistic approach here. I don't feel myself drawn away from the song. That's a good thing because "Leave a Trace" is pretty damn good.

"The Gates" by Young Empires

About a month ago I followed a twitter account for @abandonedplaces. The account shows off, in picture form, places in the world that have just been left to rot away by society. I find these pictures simultaneously depressing and beautiful. The depressing part comes when I think of the wasted resources and the destroyed lives that are associated with the abandonment of these structures. The beauty exists because of the way that nature has sort of taken back these buildings. Rivers, lakes, oceans, they don't give a crap about your Jesus statue. Forests, plants, animals, they don't care about your abandoned playground. In Young Empires new video for "The Gates" I get the same depressing/beautiful feeling that other abandoned places have left me with.

 Get All of 2015's Click Tracks (when available) in One Spotify Playlist: