I know what you guys are thinking. Man you've sent me so many DM's on Twitter asking me where I am and if I will ever be blogging again. I kept telling you, in time my preciousesseses (or however you would spell that). The reason for the absence? Nothing to do with fondness and hearts. It is all because making kombucha takes so much damn time.
If you've never brewed a batch of kombucha at home (your crazy!) you might not realize all the steps that go into making that fine fermented drink. Let Tender drop some knowledge on ya. If you do know how we do, well...go ahead and skip down to the Disco Fries, they are eagerly awaiting your earlobes. The first thing you have to do when making kombucha is locate a scoby. This is a sort of living jellyfish looking culture that is responsible for the ferment. I looked high and low for one of those things but couldn't find it. Finally, on a whim, I joined my local yard sale group on Facebook and...voila! Scoby at my front door. Next you brew up a gallon of tea, pour a cup of sugar in it and let it sit. Once it hits room temperature, drop the scoby (and some starter liquid from another batch of kombucha) into the tea. Let that thing fester around somewhere between 74 and 78 degrees for upwards of seven days. After seven days you can remove the scoby (and a cup of kombucha). Now it is time to flavor that baby. Find some fruit or herbs (or both) cut them up and drop them in. Let the brew sit for another four days and, finally, you've got some kombucha. Bottle it and drink at your own leisure.
My first batch was flavored with blackberries and sage. As I alluded to earlier, I would pair a brew of blackberries and sage with the Disco Fries new song "My World." While the song is actually about all the effects a lovely relationship has on a person, I could easily replace the hand holding and lip kissing with some bottle sucking and koozie caressing and make this track about kombucha. "My World" is crisp and clean. It bangs and vibes and grooves. It is astringent but warm. Wait am I still talking about "My World" or have I moved on to the kombucha? At this point, weeks deep in both, I don't know where one begins and the other ends.