Saturday, August 27, 2016

Click (Music): Wildflowers, Hookers, Lookers and Magazine Perfection

"Wildflowers" by Caged Animals

I've spent most of the summer unsuccessfully driving a manual lawnmower around my yard. Instead of cutting the chest high weeds we inherited when we moved here, it simply bent them over. Dandelions, chickweed and clover laughed at my mower's ineptitude. I took as much as I could before I grabbed my shears and cut those wildflowers by hand. I then packed them into soups, pestos and puddings that my daughter and I would share on the back deck (now who is laughing you wildflower bastards!). It was hard work but it was so totally worth it. I relive those celebratory wildflower recipes every time I hear Caged Animals belting out "you got here on your own and you're free to face the sun."

"Joyride" by Ceasefire

Do wildflowers picked at night taste the same as those harvested during the daytime? Will this weed kill me if I eat it? Why the hell does "Joyride" by Ceasefire only have 56 plays? These are the things that great minds (myself) have been pondering for the last fortnight (thirty-seconds).

"Lookers" by the Menzingers

"Lookers" depresses me. Don't get me wrong, it is a hell of a song (especially with pizza) but there is something about getting nostalgic about how good you used to look in the old days that makes me feel sad inside. I had trouble placing my finger on exactly what it was until my therapist gave it to me point blank. He said "Tender, you're ugly. You've always been ugly. This song speaks of a time when the characters looked good. You've never experienced that." To add insult to injury, he followed this up by telling me insurance hasn't covered our last few visits and I owe him $3,976.15. Broke and ugly. I'm getting drunk on wildflower kombucha tonight.

"Happiness" by Trails and Ways

"Happiness" is Keith's, of Trails and Ways, answer to an argument with an old friend. She said to him that if you have to try to be happy, then it's fake happiness. Keith's thought is that an attitude like hers can leave a person stuck in pride for their hip, authentic depression. Seeking real happiness means a person has to be honest when they're not, and that's a scary path. That's why we have happiness: you won't find it easier for long. "Happiness" has easily become my favorite Trails and Ways song. I love the punky dream-pop guitars and the backing vocals of Madeline Kenney. More importantly, I love the way it makes me feel when I look in the mirror.

"People Like Us" by Susie-Blue

"People Like Us" by Derry four-piece Susie Blue is a pretty powerful track. Its message challenges intolerance and hatred in society, particularly in the form of homophobia. In related news, the preacher from Georgia who said that he saw the victims in the Orlando pulse shooting as "getting what they deserve" now finds himself on the other side of that statement. If your nose ain't clean, which for most of us it isn't, maybe just keep your pitchforks to yourself.

"Magazine Perfection" by The Khanz

Sometimes perfect beauty is just a photoshop or two away. Sometimes it is so much farther. And still, people go for it. That's what the fabulous "Magazine Perfection" is about. My favorite line, "I wanna change my face (so chop it off)." Take it from the guy whose therapist called him "ugly as f***," these changes, in the long run, are so not worth it.


"Back 2 U" by Steve Aoki (Unlike Pluto Remix)

Text my mom sent me this week: I've never heard the original but Unlike Pluto's remix is 2 Hot 2 Hand13.

My response: Hand13? What does that mean? Mom, ur txt speak needs some work, smh.


"Crash" by Against Me!

I could do without all the christmas lights but f*** if that "I'm not a crash landing!" chorus doesn't make up for every single one of them.

"Bridge and Tunnel" by Coheed and Cambria

"Bridge and Tunnel" definitely isn't your older brothers Coheed and Cambria. This song is remarkably different from a lot of their previous work, at least the stuff I'm familiar with. I mean pianos? Church like background harmonizers? Careless whispers? I can't help but think that if I was listening to this thirteen years ago instead of "A Favor House Atlantic" maybe my mom and dad wouldn't have made me move out on my own. Then, of course, I wouldn't have been caught with that hooker that I could've sworn was a girl which led to me losing custody of my humongous cat that is now an internet star with tons of endorsements. I probably never would've filed for bankruptcy. The cops wouldn't have come to my house because the buzzer of my roommates dryer wouldn't shut off and discovered the underground Gatorade scheme I was running that got me a night in jail and caused me...

Damn "A Favor House Atlantic" you really effed up my s***.

 Get All of 2016's Click Tracks (when available) in One Spotify Playlist: