While everyone else was doing dainty little dives off the diving board, I was turning my back and dropping cannonballs like over microwaved potatoes. Yuck's version of a cannonball seems to follow in my wet, slippery steps. As that one famous rock reviewer put it, '"Cannonball' flushes the lace handkerchief down the toilet in favor of something a bit more starchy." Just imagine what I could've come up with if I hadn't been so busy googling leaky gut.
"Slip Into Nevermore" by Prince Rama
I invited a couple friends over last night to Netflix and Chill (if I would've known what that meant beforehand I would've reserved the party for only ladies. I think my friend Stan got the wrong idea as he tried to tongue me in the pantry at least six times). While doing the Netflix part, we watched The Da Vinici Code backwards at 8x the speed. Part of the way through a secret message came up. It said:
"'Slip Into Nevermore' was written inside an ancient Viking ruin on a remote island in Estonia as a last minute resort to try to prevent a friend from committing suicide. With its haunting synths and angelic vocals, it totally did the trick." - Prince Rama
"Hey Caty" by Carey
Carey is a Nashville trio that puts out "Carport Rock," which is like garage rock minus the sweaty high fives. The band can often-times be found putting Chipotle inspired ransom notes under the windshield wipers of smart cars. Carey's new single, "Hey Caty," sounds like it would play perfectly at the grand opening for Chipotle's first store. But thankfully 1993 does not get the pleasure of owning this one. It is all fresh, hormone free and so 2016.
"Barbara" by Terribly Yours
What the hell happened this weekend? All I wanted was a box of chocolates in a heart shaped container for my great grandfather's birthday and I couldn't find one of those anywhere. It's like there was some gigantic rush on romance items the last three days. Shoot, now that I think about it, my Facebook feed was littered with people taking pictures of flower bouquets. Must be some secret society I'm not privy to. Well, for all you secret society romantics out there, here's Terribly Yours' version of a love song, "Barbara."
"Warpaint On" by Risley
Once ejaculation occurs about 400,000 sperm are released into the wild. Each sperm claws and swims and fights its way in hopes of being the one that fertilizes the egg. Risley's "Warpaint On" had a similar battle in order to become the band's first single. It was one of 138 songs that the band had recorded over the past several years. The band whittled those 138 songs down to the 22 that they felt would best fit a debut album (coming on February 26th). Those 22 then had a knock 'em out, drag 'em out, swim 'em out battle to find out which one would be "the first official Risley single." The one left standing at the end of the day was "Warpaint On."
"Burn Wild" by Rozes (Young Bombs Remix)
Here's what I said when I first heard Rozes' "Burn Wild":
If Prince Rama is about the teenage sexual catharsis that happens in the high school gymnasium then "Burn Wild" is all about what happens next. Do you take that boy you just gave a hand job to in Row 12, Seat 3 and make him your full time boyfriend? Do you test the waters by joining your high school online dating site? Or do you just let it drop and continue hooking up with your best friend until you graduate and go off to college? What about that teacher that keeps giving you eyes?The Young Bombs' remix of "Burn Wild" takes all these ideas that I mentioned above and sort of explores them, shapes them and perceives them in a slightly different way. The best I can describe it is hand jobs, hooking up and getting hot for teacher in a zero gravity setting. Everything is a bit freer, wilder and well protected.
Modern day romance, is so confusing.
I've skipped the second half premiere of the Walking Dead in order to write this post. I guess, knowing that, it should surprise no one that the lady in the video for "New Bohemia" reminds me a lot of Michonne. Granted, she isn't African-American, she has blue eyes and she dances and submerges herself in water instead of cutting the limbs off of zombies. But she does, like Michonne, play with electricity when choosing her traveling companions.
"Figuring It Out" by SWMRS
So J-Fur asks me this week, what is that song you've been listening to lately that mentions cherry cola. I have no idea what she is talking about. I go through all my Spotify playlists, Soundcloud listens and video viewing history. I finally realize that she is talking about SWMRS "Figuring It Out." I bring "Figuring it Out" to her attention (all proud that I figured it out) only to have her say "Nope, that's not the song." Turns out she was talking about some song that she had discovered on her own and had been listening to religiously in her car. The kicker? I've never even heard the song (or the band) before. No worries, it was only three hours of my life searching for a song that I didn't even know existed. In food terms, that's like going to the grocery store and walking the spice aisle trying to find the one that smells like banana peppers and tastes like licorice without knowing there is a spice that smells like banana peppers and tastes like licorice.
Get All of 2016's Click Tracks (when available) in One Spotify Playlist: