Cook: Buffalo Tempeh Stromboli

(Originally posted August 2011)

Give me a moment while I get out of this here rocking chair. There. That was some battle gravity put up but ultimately these old bones came out on top. Now, give me another second while I try to stand on this here box made of soap (?). Kids now-a-days, they don't know what it is like to have to work. I am reminded of this every day at school. I thought at first that it was just because of the locale (I went to school in Pennsylvania and now live in Florida) but I think it has to do more with the state of education (and society) today. 

What is this old man rambling about? I'm here for the stromboli. I promise, we're getting there. One huge difference between my schooling and the schooling of today is the amount of door-to-door fundraising that takes place. As a kid, it seemed that we were always participating in fundraisers that required us to sell something to my neighbors. Candy, sandwiches, cookies and trinkets were the norm. My favorite fundraiser was selling stromboli (see, told you I'd get there).

On a typical visit to the grocery store, my parents would pass right by the stromboli saying it was way too expensive. But once a year, during the stromboli sale, my parents would buy one for my brother, sister and I to eat. It was a huge to do for the three of us. We made it special by putting on our best Sunday outfits and cranking up my mom's Ray Stevens tape. I think that is why, even after becoming a vegetarian, I have always enjoyed stromboli (though it has taken a while to match my memories of how good they were to what's cooking in my kitchen). Thanks to Dionne, I’ve finally reached that point.

Buffalo Tempeh Stromboli
(printable recipe)

-1 batch of stromboli dough
-1 block of tempeh
-Frank’s Hot Sauce
-fresh mozzarella or Daiya
-2 onions, sliced
-olive oil
-salt

1. Make the stromboli dough according to directions.

2. While dough is baking, slice the tempeh into small, thin strips. Place in an oiled frying pan and cook over medium-low heat. Add the hot sauce and swish the tempeh around in it until completely covered. Continue cooking, adding hot sauce when necessary, for fifteen minutes. I used about a quarter of a bottle of hot sauce but this step should be based a lot on your preference.

3. In a separate frying pan, (preferably one with a large bottom) heat about two teaspoons of olive oil. Place the onions in the pan. Cook for about ten minutes, stirring occasionally to make sure they
don’t dry out. Sprinkle some salt on the onions. Cook for an additional 30 to 45 minutes. The onions
should be allowed to stick to the pain slightly so that they brown but not so much that they start
burning. Constant stirring will not allow them caramelize.

4. Roll out the stromboli dough into two rectangles. Line the dough with the tempeh. Place
the caramelized onions on top and then finish with the mozzarella or Daiya. Fold the stromboli dough
over to seal in the filling. Bake for 25 minutes in the oven. Devour.

Buffalo Tempeh sounds a lot like this.