Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Cook: Feisty Stuffed Peppers

I know what you're thinking. You made Tender Branson's feisty stuffed peppers once when you were drunk. In a toaster oven. With ketchup and sliced (vegan) cheese. Also, no Worcestershire sauce or onion powder or garlic powder. They were amazing. You're still drunk. And they're still amazing. Rock on.

Does that sound about right? No. Am I close? No. Hmm...then maybe you are thinking something along the lines of why would Tender waste his time on a stuffed pepper recipe. Every culture has them. They are so plain and boring and not impressive in the least.

While I agree with every single point you made in that second section of text, I have to pose one deeply philosophical question to you. Take your time, don't rush into an answer. A good philosopher let's things savor. What the f*** else was I supposed to do when J-Fur came home with a big ol' bag of peppers and a buy one, get one bag of Beyond Meat Feisty Crumbles? It was like the whole universe joined forces to create this gigantic funnel that led right to a neon sign that said make stuffed peppers and I was covered in a greasy olive oil body wrap and tossed right into that funnel. As that one sports anchor said on his morning show "Resistance is futile."

This is me, being a salmon, and reversing directions.

Feisty Stuffed Peppers
(printable version)

-1 pound Beyond Meat Feisty Crumbles
-1 cup brown rice, cooked
-6 bell peppers
-16 ounces of your favorite tomato sauce
-1 Tbs. vegan Worcestershire Sauce
-1/4 tsp. garlic salt
-1/4 tsp. onion powder
-1 tsp. Italian seasoning
-salt and pepper (to taste)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Remove the top, seeds and membranes from the peppers. Slice them in half from top to bottom. Arrange peppers with hollowed side facing up in a slightly oiled, glass baking dish.

3. In a skillet, warm the Beyond Meat Feisty Crumbles up. Then mix the crumbles with the rice, twelve ounces of the tomato sauce, Worcestershire Sauce, garlic salt, onion powder and Italian seasoning.

4. Spoon the mixture into the pepper halves. Spread it out so it evenly covers the entire inside of the pepper. Drizzle some tomato sauce overtop of each pepper. Bake for an hour, removing the peppers halfway through to drizzle with a bit more tomato sauce. Toss the finished peppers in front of someone you aren't trying to impress and tell them to "eat from the altar of your simplistic food vision."