Sunday, December 11, 2011

Fort Fairfield Food Manifesto and Boueuf A La Bourguignonne

Swedish innovators Fort Fairfield are currently holed up in a Lonneberga cabin putting the finishing touches on their new album (working title of The Straw Boys). Comprised of brothers John and Tom Lück, Fort Fairfield is best known for their atmospheric experimental music dubbed “shoegaze electronic.” The brothers are joined on the new album by producer Egon Ramberget and guest vocalists De Montevert, Brenden Beu (of The Fearsome Sparrow), Cosima Lamberth, Marcus Wahlström and Tomas Halberstad (whom they claim is so gifted that they will “wait for him to get done or die waiting”).

Along with finishing the album, Fort Fairfield has also been hard at work penning a food manifesto they hope will someday find its way onto gallon sized milk jugs, much like missing children did on American milk cartons back in the 80’s. Through illegal means, we are talking coercion here, I have obtained a draft of the manifesto:

Fort Fairfield Food Manifesto 
*Never buy bintje, it’s pig potatoes. After a nuclear bomb hit’s the ground the only thing left will be bintje and cockroaches, think about it.  
*If it’s possible, always have a German guy with a last name as a surname in the kitchen with you. His sole purpose is to point out the importance of smoked bacon in every dish. Obviously you don’t take his advice except when the dish demands it. If you don’t have accesses to a German, two budgies will do. They won’t point out the importance of smoked bacon, but they will be good company and they will most likely let you watch La Liga instead of Bundersliga.  
*When choosing a producer don’t just go for his musical skills as his food skills are just as important. We can’t stress this enough. Make a mistake and you will end up with a two pound bag of lime leaves that you never will use.  
*Chile is the new truffle (yes that’s how you spell it, if you spell it like chili then it’s a dish). And yes we do think we stand above The Swedish Academy Glossary.  
*When cooking and chopping its mandatory to have Paul Kalkbrenner in the speakers, what’s good for the soul is good for the food.  
*Keep it Kosher in your fridge because it looks so neat. 
Taped to the back of the manifesto draft was Fort Fairfield’s top secret recipe for Boueuf a la Bourguignonne. It ain’t a secret anymore.

Boueuf a la Bourguignonne is the type of dish that requires “Patience”: