Southwestern Sliders hammed with Derby, Hooded Fang and Five Eight

As the sole male teacher at my school I have the pleasure of teaching the boy portion of Human Growth and Development to a bunch of fourth and fifth graders. Not wanting us to go into this talk unprepared the district offers a mandatory training. There are three thing teachers should not touch in the classroom and these can be remembered by the acronym H.A.M. Basically our HG&D talk needs to be all vegetarian, no H.A.M. Just like these sliders, which came about because I was tired of seeing others eat cute little burgers without me.

Southwestern Sliders
(printable version)

-1 can black beans, drained
-1 can pinto beans, drained
-1 jalapeno, small dice
-1/2 onion, small dice
-1/4 cup nutritional yeast
-1/2 cup corn
-vegetable oil
-salt and black pepper (to taste)
-8 slider buns
-toppings (I used barbecued onions, pickles and jack cheese)

1. Mash the beans in a large metal bowl until relatively smooth. Add the jalapeno, onion, nutritional yeast, salt, black pepper and corn. Mix thoroughly.

2. Shape the mixture into tiny burgers. Set aside.

3. Heat the vegetable oil in a cast iron skillet. When oil is hot, drop the sliders in and cook for five minutes on each side. Pile on favorite burger toppings and H.A.M it down.

These burgers are pretty straightforward and easy to make. They remind me of the music that Derby makes. There are no gimmicks or gadgets, it is power pop at its most suspicious. The band drops an album (Madeline) next Tuesday, right after Valentine's Day, so surprise the love of your Lutheran life with it.

Derby-Don't Believe in You

If you are into bells and whistles with your sliders then try Hooded Fang on for size. This seven piece from Toronto released a self-titled album last fall that included the brilliant "Laughing." The track includes some hot girl on guy action with money shots about about laughing and dancing and dependability.



Five Eight is an Athens, Georgia band that has gone through a ton of drama (imagine fifth graders hearing the word "penis" spoken by a teacher and times it by a hundred thousand) and yet remain relevant almost twenty years after their beginning. "Your God is Dead to Me Now" may have been circulating on the internet for close to a year now, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Five Eight-Your God is Dead to Me Now via My Old Kentucky Blog